There will come a time in your lives when you’ll venture into the realm of relationships and when you do so, you will feel confident in the soundness of the years of preparation that you’d previously undergone by Hollywood . Those ‘happily ever after’ endings, where the girl always gets the man of her dreams will ring in your mind, you, all gleeful and eager for that special meet-cute to occur.
You may be in a bookstore mentally debating on which series you wanted to finally begin reading “I heard Game of Thrones is Boss, but Harry Potter oh boy.” You finally decide and while you are reaching for the last copy of book 6 of Harry Potter your hand brushes against your first real life as you would think it ‘Prince Charming’.
WOW, he is absolutely gorgeous, rembrandt white teeth, a glistening pearly smile; yep, the sparks begin to fly and you hear the hallelujah chorus key up inside of your head. Cherubs swirling around your unsuspecting encounter, you sense an instant click, surely he must be the one. The next few months is pure bliss.
The honeymoon phase would have subsided and then BAM, the prince has turned back into the grimy, slithery, slippery, cold-blooded amphibian that he always was. The shit has hit the the fan and you are trapped in a vortex of ‘what the fucks?’, ‘how did we get here?’ and ‘what went wrong?’.
You begin replaying that magical encounter in the bookstore and what ensued thereafter and you appease yourself by saying this is probably a big misunderstanding, all of that could not have been fake! He said he was unequivocally in love with me, head over heels, ready to wed.
The feelings that this man provoked inside of me were uncharted, he is my true love, everything he’s said and done could not all be fake. No way, no how, uh or am I letting him go. This is the real deal, so you gear up with your combat fatigue and commence ‘mission fight for my man’.
At first you start seeing positive results; that girl he said was just his friend that he ended up sleeping with over and over again, texting, seeing behind your back? Well he finally cut her off, he is not sneaking out anymore nor is his phone going off at 2 am with some pseudo-emergency that he absolutely had to leave his bed for.
Things are looking up, you are more vigilant because you were able to download a keylogger on his computer, bug his phone and duplicate his chip. You now had 24/7 surveillance on your man. Success!
You would talk regularly -who am I kidding, every second- so now you are not that anxious anymore when he responds after 2 seconds instead of one. You can now relax, put your mind at ease. Get a facial to clear up those bags, botox to fill in those extra lines -because worrying does that to you- hit a gym to lose the lbs you gained from stress eating. Things were looking up. Yes! Things were definitely looking up.
Door slams! ” I’m leaving!!! You shady, trifling, lying piece of shit!” You found that other phone he had been using, you’ve seen the pics of a baby that looks a lot like him. You’ve read the text messages, more lies, more deception. You replay all the times when he said he had to work late, help out a friend, be with his dying mom. You begin doubting everything you once held as truth.
You go back to the beginning of it all for the comfort of what could have been what was promised and 10 years later you are still threatening to leave him. Dear girls, don’t let these men get you with their charm. Don’t let them gaslight you and manipulate you into believing that you are the cause of whatever breakdown that may occur in a relationship.
Don’t give them that power over you, and trust me, some of those mofos are pros!