Staring down the barrel of a gun!


During my commute to work the other day, I over heard a conversation, well not exactly overheard, I actually had no choice but to hear it with the manner in which it was being carried on. Nevertheless, I heard the clamorous bellowing back and forth about the hardships of life and how bad families treated each other; so and so fighting over this and that following the death of  family member X.

While listening to the discourse I wondered to myself, life just like love gets all the blame why is this?  What is life?, according to it is “the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual. ” So, what exactly does this translate to? For starters it means when you are presented with an opportunity, a chance to make a decision or a choice to make and you willingly and deliberately make the wrong choice you are not allowed to blame life -an abstract, intangible concept- for your fuck up.

Okay, so maybe we do not exactly mean that life ‘grew legs’ and a personality and caused me to do this or that. I know this, but sometimes we are such pathetic lameos that we do not, can not, refuse to accept all accountability for our actions. Yes at times we make some monumentally stupid choices, I know I am hella guilty of this. But why is it so hard for us to accept the fact that every single thing we do and every single outcome within our control is directly as a result of the choices we make?

Take for instance being  present during a bank robbery.  You are in queue minding your own business with a hefty looking purse probably containing hmmm, that $3000.00 in cash you just collected from your tenant, why did she pay you in cash that day? Pffft! Any way,  so this guy comes up to you after entering the bank and shouting his soliloquy about it being a stick up and points his glock to your face, hand it over!

You, staring down the barrel of his gun are faced with two choices, hand it over, play the hero, or blatantly refuse, okay maybe three choices, but all of which will end in your having to lose something (not if you are the hero of course). Which would you chose? Sure enough you would have already weighed each and every outcome and decided which one would best mitigate the instance of loss. I won’t say what choice was made. But I am almost certain that life would get the blame no matter the outcome.

Oh boy! life is funny eh, life is hard, life is unfair, life is…life is…life is. At the end of the day, really, it is not so much so life more than it is your existence -which in and of itself is life-, but more so what you do during that existence. Do we all have equal life chances? Are our decisions influenced by the plight of our lives? Is this existence predestined? Which ever way the argument sways, the fact still remains, the only person whose behaviour, choices, we can control is our own.

Yes the concept is much more complex (or maybe not) than that, but we as humans need to take responsibility for our actions and accept some level of accountability for the shit we do. There are many theories that will conflict with my opinion, but I think at the very basic levels of existence, we should own up to our actions rather than tag teaming in the blame game we all play so very well. It’s Trump’s fault, It’s Obama’s fault, it’s her fault, it’s his fault, it’s their fault TAG you’re ‘It’s your fault. Did I miss someone here? Hmmm.


Published by kedawithani

An awkward 'adulter' navigating life with a vagina in her teenie tiny corner of the world.

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