I hate parenting!!!

I see a pregnant woman today and I choke on the up-chuck of whatever it is I had to eat that day.

God forbid I saw them at night, I’d be eating breakfast, lunch and diunner all over again ๐Ÿ™Š.

I hated being pregnant, wobbling everywhere like a tired penguin. Try as I might, I just couldn’t experience the joy of the journey that every other pregnant woman seemed to have been experiencing and gushing about.

No, not me. I had this itty bitty human inside of me using my belly and its contentsย  as his personal playground.

It was a systematic overtake of my body and its functions that started with my bladder.

Any and every location was my toilet; the queue in the bank, the check-out at the grocers, the dinner table, anywhere!

To this day we still have conversations about how he thought it was a trampoline that he said sometimes converted into a water bed.

He still tries to convince me that he remembers life in utero. Fast forward nine months and 7 days, I finally met the little minion responsible for most if not all of my public contretemps.

I woke up (because he wouldn’t have it any other way, than to make a grand entrance into the world with the jump scare of a reducing heart rate and an emergency c-section) and there he was, my very own tiny human, sleeping like a baby ๐Ÿ˜Š.

Yay! I’m a mom. Had I known that would have been the only time he’d have ever slept through the night, I’d have woke his ass up instead of gawking over him when I should have been sleeping too.

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I haven’t slept since! Eleven years later and I hate parenting. I hate having the gargantuan responsibility of conditioning and preparing a human-being ย for a race he will have to run for the rest of his life.

I hate having to worry about his safety every time he goes outside. I hate worrying about what he is doing at school.

In the age of this ‘new’ thing they call bullying; is he strong enough to not cower when a peer wants his lunch more than he does?

I hate thinking about the same person day in day out; he is always on my mind, like that new jam you just can’t get out of your head.

I hate loving one person so much that I cannot imagine my life without him. I hate having to choose him over myself, ensuring he has all of his needs and some of his wants.

I hate that I want him to be a well rounded, decent, successful, fully transitioned human being.

I hate that my world is about him and making sure he is safe, protected and provided for.

I hate worrying about if I’m doing a good job. I hate that I could never stop loving him.

I hate that he is my reason for every thing I do. Why must one person have so much power over another? I hate parenting!

Talk to me, did you enjoy your pregnancy? What do you fear about parenting? Let me know in the comments will ya.

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Published by kedawithani

An awkward 'adulter' navigating life with a vagina in her teenie tiny corner of the world.

6 thoughts on “I hate parenting!!!

  1. Yo, I love this post! I wish more people would say real stuff like this. I work with kids, and it’s hugely rewarding, but sometimes I just feel this overwhelming resentment that most of my energy goes toward making sure they’re happy, enriched and safe. What about my happiness, enrichment and safety!? It sucks that once you become an adult no one really gives a shit about you. What really sucks is when you didn’t experience having good parents, so you didn’t even get to enjoy being the center of someone’s universe as a kid.

    Liked by 2 people

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