What Every Woman Needs In Her Bag –Toiletries Edition!


You would not believe how difficult it was for me to spell the word toiletertrise , Toilettettries, toiletries!!!!

How often do you get asked, why is your bag so big? Or What the fuck are you carrying in that bag? Never? Okay.

I have a thing for big shoulder bags and among other things I have this little bag that looks like a shoulder bag (that’s actually suppose to be my toiletry bag)  in my  bag and the only thing that’s missing from it is my kitchen sink.

So here’s what’s in it and what I think every woman should have in theirs:-


Lip Gloss/Balm– Because well, who likes chapped lips or dry lips, or even dull lips?

Lipstick- Because if you are like me, you probably eat your lipstick (lip balm in my case) with lunch. 

Mascara- Because batting your eyelashes is sexier with mascara. tenor.gif

Sanitary Napkin– Um, well, do I need to say it? okay, okay, because accidents happen?

Toothpaste- Well, because I’d rather not have garlic on my breath for four hours and what’s a tooth paste without a…

Toothbrush- I don’t know it just seems fitting to have both a toothpaste and a tooth brush in my bag.

Floss- Because Oral B and Colgate are fucking liars and those bristles do not get to the hard to reach places.

Mouthwash– Talk about overkill huh, but I like that extra freshness after I floss and brush.

Condoms- Because if you are like me, sex just happens! (okay maybe not) but you never know when you will feel extra generous with that ass.

Feminine/Baby Wipes- Because sometimes you need to wipe the day off or sex off before you get home.

Perfume/Body Spray-  Because it’s fitting considering the previous two points.

Extra panties- C’mon can’t you see what I’m getting at?

Deodorant- because sleep overs just pop up.

Wash Rag- see previous point.

Soap- see previous point.

Shilling Oil– Because you never know when one of your customers will feel sick and need something to sniff on, it was either that or the cocaine I have in my secret compartment (no not really).

First Aid Kit- Because in addition to pens, gum and men people like to borrow bandaids too (imagine getting back a borrowed used bandaid eewww…)


What did I miss? What about you, what’s in your bag? 



Published by k.b etceterra

An awkward 'adulter' navigating life with a vagina in her teenie tiny corner of the world.

33 thoughts on “What Every Woman Needs In Her Bag –Toiletries Edition!

  1. “Generous with that assss” 🙌🏼😂😂😂😂 this list fucking killed me!!!! Looovvveeee it. I get this question all the time! “What do you have in there bricks?! A dead body?!” Like- you DO NOT want to know trust me! so please don’t ask. Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahahaha! This post was hilarious! Since I commute around Chicago on my bike I always have a backpack with me, but I don’t stick out since that’s pretty common here. I would like to add one of those Kleenex pocket packs. Since I work with kids, those are indispensable.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 😂😂😂 love it!! Well as well as the normal lipped, brush, tissues, that money stuff etc I never leave home without doggy poo bags. I’ve usually got my couple of 4 legged friends with me 🐶🐶 good to virtually meet you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂🙂 thank you so much…! So when you say poo bags are they the ones that has the thingamajig attached to pin on the dog’s tail? I saw those recently on facebook and thought they were weird but interesting….thanks for stopping by…😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great read😄😄
    I carry a monkey bag around as I am a student and earphones plus a mirror never miss in it among a few of the things you mentioned.
    You never know when you would need to reapply that lipstick or add more mascara!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂 thanks much… Right…lol… I eat my lip balm all the time so I can definitely relate to reapplication…!

      I haven’t mastered mascara yet… I always forget it’s on when I somehow have a reason to put my fingers in my eye…lol

      Liked by 1 person

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