What Every Woman Needs In Her Bag –Toiletries Edition!

You would not believe how difficult it was for me to spell the word toiletertrise , Toilettettries, toiletries!!!!

How often do you get asked, why is your bag so big? Or What the fuck are you carrying in that bag? Never? Okay.

I have a thing for big shoulder bags and among other things I have this little bag that looks like a shoulder bag (that’s actually suppose to be my toiletry bag)  in my  bag and the only thing that’s missing from it is my kitchen sink.

So here’s what’s in it and what I think every woman should have in theirs:-

Lip Gloss/Balm– Because well, who likes chapped lips or dry lips, or even dull lips?

Lipstick- Because if you are like me, you probably eat your lipstick (lip balm in my case) with lunch. 

Mascara- Because batting your eyelashes is sexier with mascara. 

Sanitary Napkin– Um, well, do I need to say it? okay, okay, because accidents happen?

Toothpaste- Well, because I’d rather not have garlic on my breath for four hours and what’s a tooth paste without a…

Toothbrush- I don’t know it just seems fitting to have both a toothpaste and a tooth brush in my bag.

Floss- Because Oral B and Colgate are fucking liars and those bristles do not get to the hard to reach places.

Mouthwash– Talk about overkill huh, but I like that extra freshness after I floss and brush.

Condoms- Because if you are like me, sex just happens! (okay maybe not) but you never know when you will feel extra generous with that ass.

Feminine/Baby Wipes- Because sometimes you need to wipe the day off or sex off before you get home.

Perfume/Body Spray-  Because it’s fitting considering the previous two points.

Extra panties- C’mon can’t you see what I’m getting at?

Deodorant- because sleep overs just pop up.

Wash Rag- see previous point.

Soap- see previous point.

Shilling Oil– Because you never know when one of your customers will feel sick and need something to sniff on, it was either that or the cocaine I have in my secret compartment (no not really).

First Aid Kit- Because in addition to pens, gum and men people like to borrow bandaids too (imagine getting back a borrowed used bandaid eewww…)

 

What did I miss? What about you, what’s in your bag?