Let’s Talk About Snooping!

While the world has seemingly been thrown into what appears to be a state of utter chaos; babies are still being born, people are still falling in love, breakups are still a thing, people are still cheating and desperate partners are still looking for dreaded answers to their anxiety driven suspicions.

Which begs the question; to snoop or not to snoop? This is a widely debated topic and both schools of thought present pretty formidable arguments.

Since this to me is subjective and my experience -of absolute mind-fucking and loads and loads of lies, manipulation and a few rides too many on the ‘relationshit’ roller-coaster- is not your experience; I am a proud fuck-respect-your-privacy-when-it-comes-to-preserving-my-sanity-shameless  ‘snooper’.

When you enter into a relationship you enter without prejudgments (ideally) you give that individual the benefit of the doubt that all the things they are saying and doing is a genuine representation of their intentions and how they feel about you. Trust is developed and the relationship blossoms.

There is no need to suspect your SO of anything shady because, well, they aren’t doing anything that warrants suspicion. So you respect boundaries, privacy and the individual’s right to be an individual in addition to being your partner.

But there comes a time, when the shady  behavior begins, the trust is eroded, questions are being avoided or unanswered and your crazy ass mind goes haywire. Hell yea I’m snooping for answers if I’m not getting them from you.

 

I’m Searching that shit IF…

…his phone has to be surgically removed from his hands, if he has to wrap the toilet paper around that phone to wipe his ass, if he goes to the shower wearing a zip-lock over his hand, if he carved the steering wheel of his car to accommodate that phone while driving!

…he responds to phone notifications like Bat Man to the bat signal or Superman to the ever so slight whisper of Louis Lane!

…I’m within proximity of his phone and I happen to mistakenly purposely rubberneck and see “ba…” before he locks screen!

…his phone is blowing up while we are cuddling, Netflix and chilling, spending ‘we time’, and I can see the sweat beads  from your clammy sweat running down your face because you don’t want to check your phone while I’m there!

…he Alt +Tab or Alt +F4 that inbox, that photo or anything seemingly incriminating as soon as I enter the room!

…this guy not only leaves the room, but sneaks out to take a call in the next room at an ungodly hour, I am fucking snooping!

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Being cheated on makes you paranoid, and I think it is bullshit to label someone as having trust issues when both parties entered into a relationship perfectly secure, with a clean bill of health, no fucking stress, no infractions and everyone trusting each other.

How can you then carry on with your trifling shady cheating bullshit then call me insecure for thinking that the lie you are telling me is a fucking lie?

I am well aware of the arguments against searching, snooping, ‘cooping’ or whatever you call it in your country. It usually ends with “have some self-respect and dignity, you can always walk away.”

It is exactly because I have self-respect and dignity why I refuse to walk away before all the crazy thoughts and disorientation in my head are lulled.

Is it worth the pain when you find out your suspicions were true? Hell yes it is worth it, (well for me it was) at that point I actually felt no pain I was numb and just wanted closure.

Granted there are some persons for whom snooping is an unmotivated pass-time, I am not one to judge anyone for doing what they feel is necessary to preserve their sanity after the trust in their relationship has been fragmented.

What are your views on snooping…? Do you think it is justifiable…? Have you ever snooped…? How did you feel afterwards…? Did you confirm your suspicions…? Let me know your views in the comments… 🙂