The F Word That Nobody Likes To Hear

995977Sometimes, just sometimes, barring the medical conditions, the medications, the pregnancies,  the contraceptives and whatever else that i’m missing; you are just too fat. 

And sometimes, it’s okay to tell someone they’re fat and it’s not fat or body shaming. Not that they’re fat as fuck or they look like a fat piece of shit but just “you’re fat.’

And while this still probably warrants a ‘mind your own fucking business’ or ‘I don’t give a fuck’ what you think. Or a snarky sarcastic comeback, I am totally fine if someone comments on my weight.

tumblr_mi11hefrmh1rybmzlo1_5002I am confident and love myself enough to have that mirror talk where I tell myself how much of a fat piece of shit  I’ve become (only I am allowed to refer to myself that way) and not feel any less of a beautiful woman inside and out.

Granted we aren’t created equal and there are things like low self-esteem, lack of confidence and a host of psychological issues that can explain the clitoral level hypersensitivities of some people, but I mean ‘cmon’, sometimes you have to call a spade a spade.

A few posts back I came on here talking about how pumped I was to lose some weight to fit into a gorgeous dress by November.

Well November is here, and as I am sitting here typing this, my belly is resting on my lap ( I can still see my vagina though).

My arms are stuffed into my uniform jacket like sausage in its casing (is this what a straight jacket feels like?), my bra bulge looks like two titties on my back and don’t even get me started on my back fat.

Needless to say, I am fat; actually, I am 10 lbs fatter.

I am aware of this weight, I am aware that I need to get it off (I’ve started working out and eating healthy(ish) again) for me, and no one else. For me because it feels uncomfortable, not because society says I need to be this size or that size.

For me, not because I care what you think about the way my muffin hangs over my jeans. For me because I’d prefer not to giggle every time I move. For me, because I don’t want to risk taking flight when I flag down a bus (taxi, uber, trans, don’t know; what do you call your public transportation?).

overeatingFor me, not because the pictures on the magazine look perfect, for me and no one else but ME. 

I am aware of the health risks that it poses and I am also aware that the weight didn’t magically grow on me when I wasn’t looking, so I own it.

I own the fact that eating and over-eating a ton of shit brought me to this stand off with my scale and my freaking dusty dumbbells.

Is it a vanity thing? Is it a shallow thing? Because apparently wanting to see a 10 pack instead of an apron of fat, eating a salad instead of a heart attack  burger (there is actually a cheeseburger called that here) somehow turns you into a narcissistic  hypochondriac.

I want to lose weight not because I don’t love my body or hate myself or want to look like someone else or have the same ass like someone else but because I love my body and realistic enough to know that I need to lose weight.

Aside from those things, there are a ton (no not really a ton) of clothes in my closet that still have their tags on because I can’t fit into them. God damit I want to fit into them so ‘baddddddlaayyyy.’

I don’t care what you look like, what color you are or how many rolls you have on your waist. Unless you’re a fuchsia alien with rolls and rolls of tiny  fuchsia aliens on your waistline I don’t care.

But! if you generally eat like a pig (like me, kinda) and have a sedentary lifestyle and you wake up fat why do I have to be politically correct and tip-toe around the F-word? The only issue there is whether or not I’d give a shit about what you think.


What about you? What do you think about the whole ‘fat’ (non)-issue? Let me know in the comments :).




Published by k.b etceterra

An awkward 'adulter' navigating life with a vagina in her teenie tiny corner of the world.

77 thoughts on “The F Word That Nobody Likes To Hear

  1. Why did you type this while naked? 😀
    On a more serious note, as a fat guy, I think it’s right to an extent. People ask you to lose weight because not only does it look ugly, it is also very unhealthy. It takes its toll on the body organs and seriously reduces stamina and durability, but then again, I’m too lazy to do anything about it.
    Also, get dressed, it is not nice to stay naked in November’s light winter.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I think it’s great that you own it and you know your body. I think it’s even better if you want to start a healthier lifestyle for yourself, make some goals and work at it! Not because of anyone other than yourself. It’s your body, you have a choice in the matter. So I wish you the best of luck in the matter 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Nah I don’t know why people try to avoid it cause it shouldn’t be an insult at all. It should be looked at the same way you can tell someone that they are skinny and no one bats an eye. There’s a point I’m trying to make somewhere there but you’ll have to figure it out yourself haha.
    But anyway, you do you. As long as you’re happy in yourself then that’s all that really matters. What I’ve to learn is that you’re probably exaggerating anyway haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lolol… no exaggerating here…lol… I was told by this guy nice rack then I looked down he said no no I mean behind… *facepalm* lol okay okay…I kid… but it really is so…


  4. I’ve got a good ten lbs left over from my last baby (in march) but I’ve left it on. The stress and starvation I have to endure to keep that 10 lbs off, is too much. It’s not about the number on the scale, it’s how you feel but if you feel like shit then yes, go for it!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. One thing that drives me nuts is my husband saying “you’re not fat”. Just because it doesn’t bother him doesn’t mean I am not. I know what I am and am not ashamed to talk about it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. After all I have seen and know, when I see someone morbidly obese and maybe stuffing themselves with fast food I say to myself that they could be of above average intelligence and wearing the physical symptoms of psych medication.
    No one likes to hear it…. least of all those staying wealthy (from political diabetes).
    A real buzz kill for the beautiful academically dull and sycophantic sheep.
    Just one possibility…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Make no mistake… what is breaking free from Hollywood right now is directly related. It is an industry and supply chain.
        I am just the poor bastard who has been able to fight the physical symptoms for several decades now. It is my job to have this Mars in Taurus…. just throwing a few more hats in the ring. God and goddesses bless the Coreys too
        On a 20K a year pension I can still get up and stick up for others. I have helped others on the idiot pension to live off half the minimum wage starting with breakfast again… after years of being pushed toward the dealers
        Great weekend to all

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Embracing yourself, especially on the way you look is the first step into confidence. It makes sure you stay yourself and don’t have to pretend to be someone else. Great post! Keep writing. I have pressed the follow button to make sure i get to read more!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I guess telling people they are fat, even when they know they are, often hurts their feelings and that’s why we don’t do it. Role can be whoever they want to be – just coming out of a relationship with someone who tried to dictate my weight and looks I feel very strongly about this, but it does bug me when people are dishonest with themselves for a prolonged period and I have to hear all about it. Ie “I know I’m quite overweight but I’m actually very healthy as I do X amount of exercise”. Hmmmm healthier than a sedentary person,yes, but really if it is a significant amount of weight then there is pressure on joints and organs etc I just try not to weigh in on people’s weight issues at all. I say what I do if people ask (or in the case of my blog because I feel like sharing) and leave it at that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right about the pressure… I feel lethargic all the time… carrying aound this whole other person…

      I know what you mean when you talk about weighing in… I mean you do you and I do me right…

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Being a big women myself, I see no reason why we should tiptoe around the fact that fat is fat… I know I’m fat and sometimes I scratch my head at people who are also fat but get insulted if its mentioned.., there is a difference between been honest and been mean though.. I also agree with a previous comment, we can so easily go around saying ‘wow aren’t you skinny’ without the blink of an eyelid but not the same for fat 🤔🤔
    Also something that annoys the life out of me, when family or friends are eating buns, cakes or just utter crap and you refuse, they get upset and offended and say things like ‘you don’t need to lose weight’ ‘one won’t hurt’ but they never think they did the same f***ing thing yesterday… just get the cream bun out of my face, this is hard enough without you trying to stuff me like a christmas turkey too…
    any way… another brilliant read, can’t wait for the next one 👍👍😀

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 😊😊😊 thank you… 😂😂😂😂 lolol@ yesterday… I know exactly what you mean…

    “…there is a difference between been honest and been mean though” precisely… thats the defining factor right there…


  11. Love this post!! My weight has fluctuated for most of my life, I come from a family of fatties and to be honest it never really bothered me until the day a nurse told me I had to immediately leave work and go to the doctors. Turned out my triglycerides were so high I was a major risk for a heart attack!! I changed my diet and the bonus was I lost weight.
    I still carry around an extra 20 lbs and the goal one day is to shed it but at the end of the day I am happy as fuck and comfortable in my skin. My health is great, risk mitigated so all is great in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s not bad to be fat. The only caution is that one must watch out not to be too fat. Your body index is there to guide (relating weight to height).

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I like the write-up, while we have to console those that are fat not ‘diet-wise’ but through heredity. Do keep on blogging and succeeding.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Look, not everyone can eat whatever and stay supermodel-esque!!! Happiness out weighs our fat! As long as it’s not shortening your lifespan, Enjoy life!!! Eat that cupcake, guuurrrlll! LOL great, now I’m hungry!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Take five babes!!! Literally got a tear in my eye cos I so get you!! I’m doing it for F$@king ME!
    I’m gona take a moment to thank the Lord for KEDAWITHANI, hee heee hee…no really I love you!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I feel the exact same way about my body. I know I’ve gained weight. I know it’s not cute. So, I’m putting in the effort to cook and eat healthier food.


  16. I’m fat. It’s not a secret. Anyone who looks at me can see it. I don’t expect anyone to pretend otherwise but they better not say something nasty to me. I would never talk about someone else’s weight like that…too skinny or too fat. It’s too sensitive. There are many, many reasons for weight fluctuations. Mine happen to be a combination of genetics, a burning desire for delicious food, anxiety and a very long battle with an autoimmine disease where pretty much every medication causes weight gain. When someone tells me I just need to change my diet and exercise more, I want to punch them in the throat. Do they think this is new information to me?!
    BTW, awesome post. You are hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. You seem to have a very healthy self image and attitude towards weight and diet! I love this and I hope it gives you the confidence everyday that you project here! I’m currently trying to lose weight (again) but just reading this I realised that I don’t hate my body, it could just do with a bit more TLC at the moment! Great post xMx

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Personally, I’ve reached a point in my life where if someone doesn’t like the way I look, too damn bad! I deserve some extra pounds and I’m healthier for it. Somehow, I found my way out of anorexia where I presented at a whole 89 lbs., and still believed I was fat. Oh, so sick, on so many levels.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I am overweight, have been for years and I am to the point where; I feel that it is better to be thick and happy, than thin and miserable. I am happily married for 25 years and 5 beautiful children, health, for the most part, I am almost 50 after all.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I love this – and I can completely relate. At my worst I have been five stone overweight but recently lost three with the blood sugar diet and I am a new woman. I mean that in a very real way. I am astonished at how my life has changed. Energy levels are better but it’s also so nice being able to bend down without going ‘oof’. Also sitting in chairs without the arms digging in into my hips! But you’re right – nobody has the right to fatshame you – I couldn’t believe the number of people who thought that I didn’t realise I was overweight and needed it pointed out to me. Just sod off! I used to think – what state of perfection must they think themselves to be in to be able to comment on others’? I enjoyed this article – thank you. It took me 30 years to finally get the weight off and have kept most of it off for a year. It has changed my life in so many ways – have me the confidence to start writing my blog for a start! You go, girl.


  21. Gosh, we all need fat in our bodies. We can’t function otherwise. It’s just when it’s too much and starts to interfere with our health it becomes a problem. Recently, I have gained quite a bit of it and I feel more sluggish. Or maybe it’s all in my mind, who knows. Fat becoming an f-word is as much as skinny becoming the s-word. In my mind, at least.

    Liked by 1 person

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all the stuff that's fit to never see the light of day.


I aspire to inspire. Creating words into beautiful messages and sharing it to anyone who needs a little sparkle in their lives.

SOCIOLOGICALLY YOURS, Dr. Vivencio (Ven) Ballano


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