The Single Woman Syndrome

sweettreats.comAre you a single woman? Have you been emancipated from the thought that you need to have a relationship- a man or woman or children- to feel complete? Are you childless by choice?

Do you suffer from bouts of excitement and happiness just ’cause? Longer sleeping hours? Alone time? Me time? Are you happier now than you were when you were in any prior relationships?

If your answer to one or all of these questions is yes, then you may be suffering from the Single Woman Syndrome (SWS).

Studies have shown that being single increases your risk of depression, well I’m no psychologist, but you can take those  studies fold them neatly and stick them way up your ‘have nothing better to do’ asses.

Society (I mention society a lot because it’s the cause of most if not all of the problems the world over) has glorified the idea of relationships, not to mention standardized its make up- Man, woman, child.

It has led us to believe that in order to live a long fruitful life we must be entrapped attached in some way shape or form to someone. Well I have two words for you society, say it with me guys… fuck you! 

anigif_original-grid-image-8080-1414606069-7.gifI don’t know about you, but being single offers a certain kind of Utopian-esque independence that I don’t mind prolonging a few years longer.

There is a certain kind of anxiety that accompanies the thought of relationships that causes me to break into a clammy sweat, get all ‘claustrophicky’ and run away. 


Symptoms of  SWS:

  • Ecstasy– You are so happy being single and alone that you have an allergic reaction to the thought of  being in a relationship or even ‘meeting’ guys or women, if that’s what you’re into.
  • Dating Anxiety– Cringing at the thought of dating- the preparation, the conversations, the awkward (and by awkward I mean not funny at all) jokes that you have to courteously laugh at ‘tehehehe’.
  • Commitment Anxiety– Cringing at the thought of marriage- wait..what… I have to wake up to that face, see you, smell you…talk to you.. every day..…??!! um…

Benefits Of  SWS:

  • Longevity- Your prospect of living a longer healthier life increases exponentially.


  • Self Development- Being in a relationship somehow diminishes the time you get to spend on yourself; your needs, achieving your goals and living a long fruitful life. In the absence of a relationship, you benefit from shorter waiting periods between goal achievement; on the self-care front, less wrinkles, less gray hair and less sleepless nights. 


  • Decreased stress levels- Stress releases a hormone called cortisol which is essential in the body’s flight or fight response to deal with stressful situations. This hormone also increases the risk of certain health problems if these floodgates remain open as a result of constant high levels of stress. So with debt and achieving goals already registering pretty high numbers on the stress-o-meter why compound the situation by involving yourself in a relationship, where you compromise your complete existence to coexist with someone who constantly triggers your stress levels when a toilet seat is left up, the dishes are unwashed or  God if they cheat on you with a younger, cooler version of yourself?


Do you suffer from the SWS? what are your views on being single or being in a relationship? Let me know in the comments below :).

Disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for the summary destruction of anyone’s relationship after reading this post. I am not against relationships. No I am not bitter or miserable nor do I own a massive number of cats (no offence cat lovers, society and their stereotypes again), or rocking chair. 

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Published by k.b etceterra

An awkward 'adulter' navigating life with a vagina in her teenie tiny corner of the world.

75 thoughts on “The Single Woman Syndrome

  1. ‘Society (I mention society a lot because it’s the cause of most if not all of the problems the world over)”…. word!!!

    You don’t need a relationship to feel happy or complete but if you happen to be in one which is going great, then Hallelujah! But if you happen to be in a toxic kind then you need to free yourself from such bondage. It drains you emotionally, psychologically, physically and otherwise.

    Love yourself first and if someone happens to come along, good but if it doesn’t good still. Regardless of what happens it’s better to be single and happy than be in a relationship and miserable.

    I love “love” but the right kind of love in which you don’t lose yourself or depend on for happiness.

    Liked by 8 people

  2. Marriage and relationships are beautiful. I commend any and all couples who have made it through the hurdles and are in it for the long run. But I also commend anyone who is happy where they are at in their life and not in a desperate search to be in a relationship to get approval from their friends/family and society as a whole.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I have a kid and suffer from this. I don’t actually “suffer”, I enjoy every minute of it! I’m so much happier when I don’t have to worry about relationship stuff or being stuck. Yay us and screw society!

    Liked by 4 people

  4. You are absolutely right. I am glad that somebody came up with topic. You know what , I used to be in a lot of relationships bcoz I felt it’s imp to get affection and attention from some body all the time. I felt relationships completed me. But then I realised it’s just harming me. I am commitment phobic. I can’t let the other person drive my life. And I can’t make big compromises for the other person and in a way get sufferings. Plus I would like to think about myself before putting all my energy for someone else’s growth. I want all the young girls to learn this that you are your own sunshine and no other guy can help you shine. Just you can do it for yourself.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Awesome advice…look at you girl standing on your own two feet… that’s great… indeed a relationship in my opinion should only complement you not define you…happy you were able to see your worth😉☺❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes there is a lot of evidence that women do better single and men do better in relationships. Check this out – and ignore the closing lines that revert back to the stereotypical, brainwashing line that women need men in order to be healthy!

    Liked by 4 people

  6. I seem to remember reading about studies that show marriage to be good for men’s health and wellbeing but singleness being good for women’s. Wish I could find them, but I’m sure they’re still out there somewhere.

    Liked by 5 people

  7. Great post! All you really need is yourself. Some people allow society to move through time as well tell them what to do, or who to do it with. It’s best to honor your soul desire and listen to heart for the best and highest good for you. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This article is everything my single self would’ve concurred with. I find it hard being in a relationship now coz I’ve been single for so long. Doing things with someone or involving someone in everything you do all the time feels like a mission. It feels like he’s almost stripping me off my freedom and independence. Great guy but why am I like this? I’m in a relationship but the SWS feels deeply rooted in me.. does that make sense?

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Love LOVE love this post!!
    If you have not already you should read my stale bread analogy!!
    I am not bitter, far from it, but after spending 31 of my 51 years married I hope never to be entwined to one person in such a way again!!

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Girl, I’m so happy I’m following you! You and I both share a passion for going against stereotypes and for acknowledging the benefits of singleship (relationship with yourself 😂😂 ). Yeah, I don’t go against happy relationships either, yet I will be waaaaaaaay aware before involving in a new one again. I am a single mom, I have times I feel miserable, but I try my best to raise my kids the best way I can and see the beauty around me. I also wrote an article on the single topic, some time ago (i won’t give its name to not discredit yours), but I know we’re on the same freaking page 😁😁 Koudos, girl!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Ayyyeeee!! That’s it! I’ve been suffering with it all my life. I’m glad someone finally put a name on it haha At least I’m not alone ❤ The disease called relationship took one of my closest friends recently and I mourn her loss to this day. But life goes on I guess and us SWS sufferers gotta stick together haha Loved this

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Keda, I don’t think you can be ‘suffering’ from something if you are experiencing ‘ecstasy’, ‘decreased levels of stress’ etc. So I think the label: ‘Suffering from SWS’ might need to be re-thought! lol But I get you! Whatever state of togetherness you feel suits you in order to live your best life is the way to go. If you are happy being single – fine! If you are not – fine! It’s just annoying when society makes you feel that there is something wrong with you if you are not part of a couple. And there are benefits to either state of being – I don’t necessarily think that one is better than the other – it’s what makes you happy.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I really enjoyed this post, Sometimes I feel very isolated due to the fact that I see so many people are in a relationship, as if it’s a sort of club you have to be to feel cool or something. I’m glad I’m not alone in my thoughts.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. I’m a Christian woman trusting on God’s timing living in a world where relationships are supposed to satisfy. I’m an outcast and it can be really difficult at times.

    I think marriage is beautiful and hope to be one day, but being single has a purpose as well.

    Being with the wrong person out of loneliness is a terrible idea…learned that.
    Never lose yourself because you want company. You are your own person. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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