Get Your Kegel On Ladies

Okay, whether you’re googling the cause of that slight sprinkle in your panties when you sneezed, coughed, laughed or jumped; asking Quora how to increase your grip game or ‘Binging’ how to regrow your hymen (okay non related), the one thing that always pops up is; Kegel.

So today I was sitting at my desk, serving customers and working up a sweat doing reps and reps of kegel exercises.

I was so into it “1, 2, 3, release; again” and occasionally losing count when I had to tell someone “have a nice day.”

When was the last time you flexed those muscles and did some kegel exercises ladies (and gents too)?

I’m not going to insult you by assuming you don’t know what kegels are or the benefits of doing them. Ah what the heck, I’m ‘gonna’; just in case you don’t, didn’t remember or need a reminder.

So, What are Kegel Exercises and why you should start doing them right NOW?!?

Kegel exercises or Pelvic floor exercises are basically aerobics for your pelvis with a touch of strength training. They aid in strengthening your pelvic floor (PC) muscles whose herculean task is to support your uterus, bladder, small intestines and your rectum.

These muscles can weaken over time as you age or as a result of constant trauma to these regions;  maybe you birthed 20lb twins, had a surgery, miscarried; there are a number of factors which contribute to their weakening.

So when you laughed, coughed or finally decided to workout and then with every rep of jumping jack, you pissed your panties, that was probably a result of stress incontinence; something that can occur if those muscles are weak.

In severe cases, organs can prolapse, yes! I’m talking about womb, intestines all of that shit; strong PC muscles prevents your having that awkward moment in the mall where someone has to tell you “um, excuse me miss?! I think those are your small intestines there on the floor.”

How do you do Kegel exercises? 

Well first you have to find them. To do this, all you need to do is, stop urination mid stream, if you can do that then you’ve found them. Those are the muscles you contract hold and release for a few seconds at a time. This can be done daily, at least I do them daily and can be done anytime and in any position (except when your urinating which can cause bladder problems on its own).

Like any other exercise weights can be added to your routine to enhance the your results, no, not dumb bells; kegel/ben wa balls. These can be inserted like you would a tampon, banana, carrot or dick, with the use of a lubricant. 

Did someone say dick? Did I tell you these exercises will up your grip game to boa constrictor-like, vice-grip-type proportions. I kid you not, you will have him begging for mercy. Needless to say sex, orgasms, fireworks will improve tremendously!

Now go get your kegel on girls!

What about you? Do you practice flexing those muscles? Are Kegels part of your daily routine? Let’s talk about vaginas in the comments below.

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NB Ladies: Kegel exercise is not treatment for severe pelvic conditions. See your MD per usual should any thing life threatening arise.