How do you feel when you have no control?

How often do you tell yourself “I prefer to be alone,”? If given the chance to live on the earth alone, just you and the animals, would you take it? You probably answered yes or maybe not. Who am I kidding, we all do at some point. 

I feel so most, when I have to interact with humans who vex me, frustrate me and humans overall. This however is not how it was designed to be, at least I don’t think so.

As much as we take to the media and declare how forever alone we want to be or any other variation of quiet solitude that we claim to long for, we are not wired to be or want to be alone. We crave for relationships, interaction, love, attention.

The only reason we feel so strongly about being alone most of the times is because humans are generally assholes. Egotistical, pride-filled assholes.

Dealing with humans is no mean feat. It’s hard Af actually, especially if you are dealing with  someone who thinks they are always right, someone whose practices aren’t aligned with our beliefs or someone who isn’t doing what we say.

In fact, we are all control freaks wanting things to go our way. But how does everyone, all 8 billion of us, get to change each other’s opinions, beliefs, actions when we all think that we are always right?

While we aren’t meant to exist in a bubble, but to form relationships with each other, we are still a very selfish people. So how do you live in a world with such an eclectic make up of personalities and beliefs, cultures? Why, we can all adopt the ISIS mentality shove our beliefs down people’s throats and force everyone into submission with death being their only alternative.

Or, we can all understand and internalize the fact that the only person whose anything we can control is our own. Theoretically, it seems pretty doable right? But we find it so hard to accept people for who they are. We pass judgement because she is wearing that, hate because he is doing this.

This quote is a mantra of mine, maybe not so much a quote but one of -the first actually- William Glasser’s axioms of the choice theory ( you should definitely check this out). The one which I repeat in my mind a few times a week to help me get through my days.

I encounter so much bullshit on a regular basis that I always have to tell myself, in truth, the only person whose behavior I can control is mine. “Don’t let that get to you girl, don’t lose your cool, don’t stress over that situation you have no control over.”

When I keep that in mind I become more tolerant of the bullshit I have no control over and really am able to accept people and their bullshit. Maybe if we all strive to accept that the only person whose behavior we can control is ours we will become more tolerant of the people we were meant to coexist with.

What about you? How do you deal with situations you have no control over or people who vex you? People whose beliefs do not align to yours? Do you give in to your anger? Let me know in the comments.

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