What I wish I knew Before I became a Parent

The moment you announce that you’re pregnant, you are inundated with unsolicited advice about every and anything coming from every direction. 

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“Am I a shitty parent?”

How many of you when you were younger, and probably while being scolded by your parents swore, “when I become a parent I will be the best I can be. I will love my baby, provide everything he/she needs. I will never shout at or spank my kid; I will be their best friend!?” 

All Hail The Internet- H.W. Edition!

So school is in full swing, son has advanced to grade six and we all know what that means right? Homework! And not just any homework, the dreaded math homework!

So Much for Super Powers… Pfftt…!

Growing up, my mom had this amazing super power of not getting sick whenever I’d get infected with the most contagious of whatever virus was rife at the time.

Are You a Single Mom? Like the Full-Time Working, Part-Time Schooling Kind of Single Mom?

Do you remember when you learned about the types of families in school? We all fantasized about having the idyllic nuclear family; a  mommy, a daddy, and three perfect angels–a boy, a girl and a puppy, (what, you didn’t?).

Cheers To the Kid Free Weekend!

Single parenting isn’t easy, so excuse me if I break out the fireworks, confetti, party poppers, spiked punch and throw myself a commando party in celebration of longer sleeping hours, turned down pots and no kid!

Sometimes Kids are Complete and Utter Assholes!

Now, I am the mother of an awesome 11 y.o boy whom I love to crumbly bits and pieces. He is a great sport, no, really, he is. Thoughtful, considerate, loving, kind, selfless, obedient, helpful, does his chores without instruction — the perfect kid! Wait, what? I have to wake up now? I’m not ready yet! Okay, seriously though, I love my kid and wouldn’t trade him for any one in the world, as tempting as my dream kid is, no sireeee, I ain’t trading him. 

I hate parenting!!!

I see a pregnant woman today and I choke on the up-chuck of whatever it is I had to eat that day.