If you have ever been to St. Kitts, The Mother Colony of the West Indies, you will know that we are a happy, feel good bunch of people. Waking up with breath in our lungs and sight to see another day is reason enough to have a fete and celebrate.
My little 68 sq ft. mile Island stood firm during the battering of Hurricanes Irma and Maria and we are grateful! I am grateful and to celebrate, I want to host my first ever blog fete.
Yes I know, how can she host any semblance of a fete or party with only 66 Followers? Here’s how… by hosting it! I also want to Celebrate the persons with big enough cajones to follow my blog, you guys are the best.
I want to get to know you guys. So have a shot of your favorite rum, come in and enjoy the feting. Let’s socialise and get to know each other. Tell me about your blogs, what inspires you to write. Tell me about the hurdles of blogging. Tell me what you’ve learned, Let’s meet and greet guys. Share your story with me…
Now, I am the mother of an awesome 11 y.o boy whom I love to crumbly bits and pieces. He is a great sport, no, really, he is. Thoughtful, considerate, loving, kind, selfless, obedient, helpful, does his chores without instruction — the perfect kid! Wait, what? I have to wake up now? I’m not ready yet! Okay, seriously though, I love my kid and wouldn’t trade him for any one in the world, as tempting as my dream kid is, no sireeee, I ain’t trading him. Continue reading “Sometimes Kids are Complete and Utter Assholes!”
I think it is safe to say that most women, if not all, have been through a shitty relationship with a shitty asshole that we still imagine murdering in the most poetic way ever! (I’ve always imagined sawing his balls off with a dull rusty hacksaw, squashing them with a meat tenderizer right in front of his stapled open eyes then feeding them to him!)Continue reading “Who TF is Mr. Right Anyway…?”
Has it ever occurred to you how reliably loyal panties are? I mean, anything willing to stay wedged between your ass (you thong and g-string wearers) all day long without fussing; even when things get foul, and the 8 hour shift just got pushed into a two hour overtime, is one loyal mofo, Brienne of Tarth has got nothing on you.
So my cousin’s wife and her buddy recently established a fabulous new little psycho-community on FB called “Bat Shit Crazy Moms.” When I saw my invite to join this group I was so giddy and full of joy my butt jiggled. Well. My butt is always jiggling. (note to self: handle that shit. Fatass.) Anyways… a “judge-free” zone where hundreds or thousands (God help us) of on-the-brinks-of-losing-their-shit-permanently moms can all go and bitch about how fucked up their kids are, how much they suck at this whole parenting gig, how they fantasize about shanking their baby daddies in their sleep, or how they would trade coffee, ice cream, and oral sex for 5 months for just ONE quiet, uninterrupted, shit session. Yes, I said SHIT. 1 time. Can we have ONE private moment in the bathroom where we do not have to be pushing and simultaneously opening a god damn Caprisun or a zebra cake???!! Jesus CHRIST.
As If being a woman isn’t hard enough, life goes ahead and throws at you godawful things like work and kids and bills and men and every other thing you can possibly think of that effectively drains the life out of you. So what do I do when I want to de-stress?