How do you feel when you have no control?

_The only person whose behavior we can control is our own_

How often do you tell yourself “I prefer to be alone,”? If given the chance to live on the earth alone, just you and the animals, would you take it? You probably answered yes or maybe not. Who am I kidding, we all do at some point. 

I feel so most, when I have to interact with humans who vex me, frustrate me and humans overall. This however is not how it was designed to be, at least I don’t think so.

As much as we take to the media and declare how forever alone we want to be or any other variation of quiet solitude that we claim to long for, we are not wired to be or want to be alone. We crave for relationships, interaction, love, attention.

The only reason we feel so strongly about being alone most of the times is because humans are generally assholes. Egotistical, pride-filled assholes.

Dealing with humans is no mean feat. It’s hard Af actually, especially if you are dealing with  someone who thinks they are always right, someone whose practices aren’t aligned with our beliefs or someone who isn’t doing what we say.

In fact, we are all control freaks wanting things to go our way. But how does everyone, all 8 billion of us, get to change each other’s opinions, beliefs, actions when we all think that we are always right?

While we aren’t meant to exist in a bubble, but to form relationships with each other, we are still a very selfish people. So how do you live in a world with such an eclectic make up of personalities and beliefs, cultures? Why, we can all adopt the ISIS mentality shove our beliefs down people’s throats and force everyone into submission with death being their only alternative.

Or, we can all understand and internalize the fact that the only person whose anything we can control is our own. Theoretically, it seems pretty doable right? But we find it so hard to accept people for who they are. We pass judgement because she is wearing that, hate because he is doing this.

This quote is a mantra of mine, maybe not so much a quote but one of -the first actually- William Glasser’s axioms of the choice theory ( you should definitely check this out). The one which I repeat in my mind a few times a week to help me get through my days.

I encounter so much bullshit on a regular basis that I always have to tell myself, in truth, the only person whose behavior I can control is mine. “Don’t let that get to you girl, don’t lose your cool, don’t stress over that situation you have no control over.”

When I keep that in mind I become more tolerant of the bullshit I have no control over and really am able to accept people and their bullshit. Maybe if we all strive to accept that the only person whose behavior we can control is ours we will become more tolerant of the people we were meant to coexist with.

What about you? How do you deal with situations you have no control over or people who vex you? People whose beliefs do not align to yours? Do you give in to your anger? Let me know in the comments.

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Published by k.b etceterra

An awkward 'adulter' navigating life with a vagina in her teenie tiny corner of the world.

35 thoughts on “How do you feel when you have no control?

  1. When I loved near the ocean, I just spent a nice quite day there. Just me and the ocean. Now, I live near the woods, I go for long walks with my dog. I find that it is easier to let things roll off if I can take time to be in quiet areas. But sometimes, I lose my shit and cuss everyone out.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This post couldn’t have come at a better moment for me to read. I JUST had a pretty stupid but nevertheless, intense conflict with my younger brother because of well- his BULLSHIT and how unaligned our mentalities tend to be sometimes. Man! I thought I could be the bigger sister about something so petty but he really sucked the rage out of me. I just tend to always want to have the last word and that gets me in huge trouble girl, lol. I usually calm myself down by logging onto wordpress and releasing demons. Or guacamole. Guacamole always helps. LOLOL!
    Thanks for this one!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You’re right it can definitely be hard sometimes, especially when we see the news, to not become dissatisfied with the world. But you’re also right in that we were wired to be alone. Not at all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was an avid reader of the news and followed what was going on worldwide just to be in the know. My gawd the news became so depressing I stopped reading it…. It really is hard to not want to go to Mars indeed… thanks for stopping by… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So true! We can only control how we react to things. No sense it getting worked up! I have a saying that I let things hit the windshield and then I turn my wipers on. Basically, in a nut shell in one ear out the other. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I always talk to myself and say “girl you’re not about to let them get under your skin.” However, my chances of me doing this can be quite limited. Often I just want to chop their heads off literally. 😄 Self-control and patience are essential when you’re dealing with people though.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Good afternoon Keda,

    i have lived quite a few years out of the zone of people, and whilst not off grid now, there have been times when l haven’t seen a person apart from my reflection in the mirror for weeks. i found l could live with it quite happily.

    An intriguing and thought provacative post indeed. It reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode, about the moment before nuclear strike and time it stopped dead and the world a woman finds herself living in.

    However for some thoughtful processing, try your hand with this nomination 🙂


    Liked by 2 people

  7. You did manage to drop the straight in my mind now! Since 2 persons in a discussion tend to have 3 opinions, it is very important for us to have this tolerance and to understand that we cannot control their minds. Awesome words 👏👏

    Liked by 2 people

  8. There was a fellow intern who we kicked off pretty well the first day and then 2 days later, I found out he eats too much. I know I sound like a bitch,but I can’t help not liking people who eat way too much.
    So I started detesting him against my will. It got to a point where I realised I had gone too far and I needed to find a way to accept his habit.
    I am glad that after some struggle, I accepted it and by the time we were parting ways, we were in very good terms.

    Liked by 1 person

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