When Blogging Becomes Bitter

Third wave cafes

Blogging is a tool whose versatility allows for many uses and the benefits that can be derived  are myriad.

Oftentimes, we read about the positive aspect of blogging; the Utopian escape it provides and the cash cow that it apparently has the potential to be.

It is not very often however we hear about the grimy side of the experience.

“…I must have a dark side also If I am to be whole”- Carl Jung

Like everything else in life, all things should be done in moderation, lest the scale of balance be disrupted thus unleashing chaos.

Here are some of the things that can happen when the blogging scale is thrown off balance:

Kills productivity

If you are a full-time, money earning blogger, then spending excessive amounts of time on your blog is justifiable.

If however you are blogging as a hobby (like me) then blogging can turn into another productivity killing social medium.

The scrolling syndrome is real; you sit behind your screen for hours, scrolling through your reader, over and over again. You visit other blogs, you change your blog layout, your font, your site title, everything!  Essentially obsessing over your new found  pass-time.

If you are doing this without any clear indication of the direction you would want your blog to take, then all you are doing is wasting time and being unproductive.

Breeds jealousy and self doubt

Don’t pretend like it doesn’t suck when you see someone whose blog started the same time as yours mutate into a super blog and they’re publishing their post on “how I reached 10k followers in 3 months,” say what?!

It doesn’t take long for the green-eyed monster to rear it’s disdainful ugly head, “Bitch you know you bought those damn followers!”

“Make-up? OOTD? Really?! That post had so many likes?! So much interaction? Damn those readers are either seriously vain or has their priorities mixed all the way up!”

Then you turn the focus, “What am I doing wrong? Aren’t I good enough? Does nobody like what I write? I wrote on the same topic and they got more likes than I did. What are they doing that I’m not?”

You are on to your blog to scrutinize what you ‘think’ you are doing wrong. You re-read  your posts, you begin comparing your blogs, your style, your interests, the very thing that makes you, You!

This can cause you to become discouraged. You can also lose confidence in yourself and your own abilities to the point where you deprecate yourself and it can even push you to quit blogging altogether.

You become shallow and disingenuous

“He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.”

Networking, genuine networking takes a lot of work because it requires you to actually visit a blog, genuinely read their work and genuinely comment. With the way in which everyone is strung out over numbers, this creates a certain level of shallowness and insincerity.

The hollow follows, the “look at me’ likes, the follow to unfollow. While these may appear to be innocuous as it relates to the craft. It unearths a darker side of human beings a certain selfishness, an insincerity that comes with all these self-serving actions.

You join the Facebook groups, the twitter groups. You take part in all the networking activities only to find that the persons you’ve followed and in turn followed you back quickly unfollows!

This type of practice can cause anyone to become distressed and even become the very thing they despise by doing the exact same thing.

Blogging like everything else can become grim, remaining true to yourself and your purpose significantly decreases your being negatively affected by some of its unsavory by-products.

What about you? Have you ever felt like quitting your blogging career? How to you deal with the negative side of blogging? Let me know in the comments below… 🙂

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Published by k.b etceterra

An awkward 'adulter' navigating life with a vagina in her teenie tiny corner of the world.

53 thoughts on “When Blogging Becomes Bitter

  1. So true, Keda. It definitely has its plusses and minuses. it can be SO overwhelming! I try to focus on what I love and why I started in the first place. I’ve been feeling the life drain out of it as I have done more and more comparison and just recently decided to focus on what I love about writing rather than whether or not I’m going to get anyone to click on a link.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. right…?! It really does get overwhelming and these have been my thoughts recently, interacting outside of the blog to drive traffic to your site you can get caught up with the bad habits and really become distressed… I use to participate in the networking activities but I am slowly weaning off and just focusing on chronicling my life– the original purpose of this blog… 🙂 thanks for your time… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I just started my blog and i can definitely see how these things can happen. Right now i get so happy when i have just one like but months even years down the road i can see myself being a little bitter…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Awesome post! I have not experienced the dark side of blogging with the exception of a negative comment, which I trash immediately. The main thing is authenticity and blogging from your heart instead of numbers. xx

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I almost choked on the water I was drinking coz there is just so much honesty and truth in this post. As a part time blogger, I have found myself wandering from blogs to blogs and became very unproductive with my time. It’s fun reading other blogs and learning from others but I really need to limit myself and focus more time on creating posts, instead. And…I couldn’t help but laugh at the part about jealousy and self-doubt. It’s hard not to wonder what one is doing right/wrong but after a while, I decided not to get too fixated on the numbers for validation (yes, it’s too too hard). Rather, to just take it slow, write what I feel like, make friends along the way, learn from others if possible and hopefully I get to do it for a long time, this way. Really enjoyed this post.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. haha… thank you so much… ” take it slow, write what I feel like, make friends along the way, learn from others if possible and hopefully I get to do it for a long time” I completely agree you are so right.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This post is well written and so true! If this happens we should find ways to snap out of it because being counterproductive gets you nowhere. Thank you for being so blunt! The reminder of “not being in it for the numbers” is helpful and needs to be said.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I only blog once a week or when I get the time but it is true that I spend a lot of time reading other blogs. I never get envious or jaleous though. I admire people who have made their blog a success. There are some amazing bloggers out there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree there are really amazing blogs out there and I’ve had the pleasure of reading a few…that’s great that you are able to hold your own and not be influenced by the potential negativity associated with blogging… thanks for reading… and commenting… ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve actually quit WordPress once before for various reasons. I found myself writing to please others and that’s not why I started my blog for. Now I write for me, and if anyone likes what I write, then great. If not, then great, too.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I started out writing for me… then I realised I began writing about things for others and it became difficult because It wasn’t the kind of person I am so I’m back to writing my experience with life and how I deal with the universal themes that everyone else experiences you know?!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. This is actually like the second or third blog I’ve ever had over the years and honestly, it’s always been about me. It’s never really been about getting likes or followers or whatever. When I looked back at some of my old entries on LiveJournal before I shut it down, I realized I’d changed from the angry, bitter person I used to be to a slightly less bitter and a lot less angry person. If people like what I write, fine. If not, move on, sweetcakes.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Self-doubt does not take long to rear its ugly head when it comes to blogging. I think it really helps to stop comparing yourself to others and their numbers. One thing that I did not realize before I started blogging is how much time and effort it will take.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That really helps, like seriously, blogging is hard enough trying to find inspiration, and then putting in the time as you mentioned last thing we need to do is compare ourselves with fellow bloggers…great advice… thanks for taking the time out to read and comment… it is appreciated…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. So relatable! I was actually planning on writing a post on annoying things about blogging, and one of them was how the same person just constantly likes your comment, trying to get you to check out their blog. And about the numbers, I’ve noticed that my blog drastically dropped in numbers, but I still keep going with my blog because it’s what I love doing.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. This is such a brilliant post, so much of it resonates with me. I find myself having to “mentally regroup” sometimes to remind myself why I write what I write, rather than becoming caught up in stats and what other people are doing. Thank you for this, Keda, I really enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Love this! It’s so easy to get mired in self-doubt over who your audience should be & how good your content is. It can be so frustrating to pick up casual viewers just fishing for likes and follows rather than people who genuinely enjoy and help you improve your own blogging. You’ve totally nailed it here – write whatever YOU love to write about 🙂 People know sincerity when they see it, and they’ll enjoy your genuine enthusiasm for a subject YOU feel passionate about. Even if fewer people are reading a blog, far better to have maybe 1 or 2 people who really appreciate the content and consistently interact with it rather than 10 or 12 who just dip in and out without engaging with it. Keep writing 🙂 You’re doing great!

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Ah, your honesty is refreshing! This post is absolutely brilliant and relatable. I’ve been in the blogging sphere 8months now and experienced all of the above. Well, let’s just say I’ve really learnt so much on how to manage the negative side of blogging. Like you I blog as a hobby so I do love it, I take my time to put out content which I think will help others. I no longer look at what others are doing with their blog because I’m happy with mine. I think when you don’t have the pressure of trying to impress anyone, you can enjoy blogging. I really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing xx

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I agree with this post, especially the first! I do blogging as a hobby but it gets difficult to shell out content and it’s time-consuming. I myself have spent hours in front of my laptop and end up with a black screen cause I couldn’t get myself to write anything. It takes a lot of effort and perseverance!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. This is true. I feel like this sometimes but even though I do get a little jealous there’s also a part of me that says “Good for you” or “Congrats” and I’m being genuine too. Blogging does take a lot of work and you can lose yourself in the process too. I guess everyone has those days. Really amazing and totally relatable post btw 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I agree but I will also say that I’ve never experienced most of this. I started blogging as a hobby and I think I’m still a hobbyist. I’ve had my blog for a year and it’s growing slowly. I create my posts and I release them to the world. I don’t linger. Sure, if I’m looking to read about a certain topic, I’ll search for it on the reader but I don’t live on the reader. In fact, most of the people I follow, I found them through the notifications from my own posts. I don’t do follow for follow, but if someone interacts with my blog I always check out their work and if I enjoy it, I normally follow. Maybe that’s why my blog hasn’t grown much, but I like to keep things casual and I’ve made some pretty cool friends on this site that I have started interacting with on Facebook as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. YES YES YES YES! There can be such a dark side to blogging, I think it’s inevitable to be honest. Personally, I see a lot of it on Twitter (a lot of blogger drama) so I never really get involved in all the blogger group chats and netwroking parties xx

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Liked this post so much,Keda! This is often not discussed. I have made the mistake of killing my productivity when I first started so that’s one thing I always would want people to watch out for.😊

    Liked by 2 people

  19. The way you express your thoughts is really quite something. Another great read. I think in every aspect one life, writing aside, once you start comparing yourself to others you loose yourself along the way. Being lost would lead to a vicious cycle of self doubt and ultimately culminating to loss of confidence. Thank you for pointing this out.😊

    Liked by 1 person

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