So school is in full swing, son has advanced to grade six and we all know what that means right? Homework! And not just any homework, the dreaded math homework!
Firstly, I must commend his teacher who is steadfast in her dedication to the ‘kill the kids with homework’ campaign as she spared no time stacking on piles and piles of homework on the first day of school.
Is it me or has the curriculum drastically morphed into some astrophysics otherworldly shit I can’t even begin to wrap my head around, let alone remember doing when I was his age?
My understanding of math stopped at 1+1=11 so imagine the fit of anxiety I was thrown into when I heard the dooming answer to my “what kind of home work do you have today?” question🙈🙈🙈.
He came to me all bright eyed and ready to tap into my what he thinks was a wealth of knowledge on the subject. Little did he know his mother was a complete and utter Dunce when it came to anything that resembled numbers being mixed into equations to create new numbers.
Not to mention when they went ahead and threw the entire alphabet into the mix. It was always a ‘d’oh’ moment for me in math class. I kid you not, I was such a dullard in the subject that I got to take home the dunce hat permanently.
He was talking, I knew he was, because I could see his lips moving but all I was hearing was white noise. How was I going to deal, grade 6 math is not like kindergarten math not even by a long shot (that was actually needless to say).
As the years passed by there was a knot growing tighter and tighter in my stomach because I knew at some point my son would uncover the secret I’d long hidden from him. I hated math, I still do, I just suck at it. I was anxious about the fact that I may not be able to serve him well when it was time for math homework, math review or math anything.
Well, grade six is here and I still hate math. I still have doubts in my competence to fully provide support to him in that subject area. Now my son is just like me, no not dunce, he doesn’t care for math. Though he is good at it,he has to be pushed to practice it, something I neglected to do when I was in school.
This is probably a major contributing factor as to why I can’t do it or hate it even. So quite naturally, I am making it right by vicariously fixing all of my major fuck ups from when I was his age going to school through him. I’ve never told him about the relationship me and math had because I didn’t want him using it as a cop out when he didn’t want to try hard enough.
So how do I deal with homework? Well I ‘just fucking google it’ and it works. Google has proven to be one of the best academic resources of all time. When google doesn’t do the trick, I head on over to YouTube. I seriously think schools should include these on their book lists.
I know, you’re probably thinking “why not hire a tutor, or try sending him to evening classes?”, firstly he is not the one in need of the classes (I am shameless by the way) and secondly, have you not been paying attention? I am broke, not just any broke, broke AF.
Now why the heck didn’t they have internet back when I was younger? Wait a minute, they did!
Look out high school, dunce mom armed with the internet coming through! Bring It!
What about you guys, how do you fare with the dreaded math? Am I the only math dud out there… let me know in the comments. 🙂